When you get married or enter into a serious relationship with someone, it’s only natural that you would want to live together- to have a place to call your own. Moving into that place of your own can be exciting, but it can also involve a lot of compromise. After all, you want a home that is going to make both of you happy, and when people have different ideas and expectations, that can be easier said than done. This is especially true when you’re choosing not just to buy a home, but to build one. Then, you have even more decisions that you must make together. Fortunately, by following a few simple tips, you can make it through the building process and still come out a happy couple. In fact, it might even bring you closer together when all is said and done.   

Talk First, Act Later

Before you and your partner even start thinking about talking to a builder or making any concrete plans, it’s important to sit down and have a real, open, and honest conversation. First, make sure that both of you actually want to build a home, and that this isn’t more one person’s dream than the other’s.

You also need to discuss your budget and what you can realistically afford to spend on building a home. Once you’ve handled the practical stuff, the two of you can talk about how you want your home to look and its overall design and style. Share your ideas, and be clear about the design features and points you can’t live without and the ones that you’re willing to compromise on. This is not the time to be silent; both of you will be living in the home, so you both need to be happy about how it will ultimately turn out. Once you have your ideas and your budget clarified, only then should you call on professionals to actually start putting your plan into action.

Don’t be Swayed

If you’ve followed the above step, then you and your partner have already put a lot of work, time, and effort into planning for your home and making sure your plans are realistic. Remember that when you’re face to face with a potential building company.

Some companies, unfortunately, will try to talk you into doing or buying things you didn’t originally plan for. They will try to subtly (or sometimes not-so-subtly) sway you into making new and different decisions. Don’t fall for this high-pressure sales tactic. You and your partner must stand your ground. The only exception to this advice is if you find that something you planned for isn’t actually possible or that it’s not within the budget you’ve created.

Also, if you do get the “sales pitch” from a potential builder, look elsewhere. There are many wonderful builders you can work with, and one who doesn’t truly have your wants and your best interests at heart isn’t right for you.

Take a Break

Once the process of building your home is underway, brace yourself. It’s a long process, one that will involve lots of decisions and waiting. Even with the best builders, there might also be setbacks that can’t be helped, such as when an ordered item is out of stock or when weather keeps workers from building for a few days at a time.

As you can imagine, this can lead to a lot of stress and pressure, and if you let it get to you, it can cause problems in your relationship. As such, it’s very important that you take a break from all home-related matters every so often. Go on a date where you don’t mention the home or anything related to it. Spend time together that’s all fun and no business.

If there are problems, you must address them- ignoring them will only make the problem worse- but they shouldn’t be the focus of your life together.

If you can follow these tips, the two of you can make it through the process with a strong relationship intact and a brand new home to show for all your hard work!